Running is Stupid and It’s Hot Outside.

I’ve had a lot of really dumb ideas lately. One of these little gems struck me a couple weeks ago, and I signed up for a 5k.  A 5k?? C’mon guys, you’ve heard me say, “I only run if something is chasing me, and even then–it depends on how painful of a death I’m looking at if I get caught.”

Why didn’t one of you stop me?! Alas, you did not, and now I’m “training” for a 5k. Day one of this training consisted of recruiting a 6′ Blonde running “partner” and then puking outside on my lunch break.

Today was week 2, day 3 of my little plan. It meant we needed to run six 90 second intervals with 2 minute walks in between. In case anyone forgot, it was approximately 6000*F today. I believe the dewpoint was 200%. My running buddy hates the treadmill. So outside we go. Luckily she is cute, and we get to have conversations like this:

Me: Oh God.  What is the deal with the sun?! It’s hot!

Her: SO.HOT. I don’t feel like running.

Me: Me neither. Screw this, lets walk. It’s SO FREAKING HOT.

But, we’re idiots. Every time our interval came up, we ran. Every time it was time to walk, we repeated various f-bombs and curses upon the indecent heat. We repeated the above conversation at least twice. BUT WE RAN.

She finished ahead of me, well, because I have a 22″ inseam. As I was running my last interval, co-workers were leaving for lunch. They all waved and smiled encouragingly (or, perhaps the way you would smile at someone who has completely lost their mind). Jerks. Smiling and waving. I’M DYING OUT HERE! I fought the urge to flip every single one of them off. Non-running, not sweaty, too happy a-holes.

At least the end was in sight–I decided if I just run to the front door, I could go inside to the glorious air conditioned work gym and cool down in there. You know, I never really noticed how reflective our office windows are until I found myself running by them– sweat flying off of me, extreme mouth breathing, beet red, sad little legs pumping. Today I learned what I looked like when I run. Some things you cannot unsee. Some things your coworkers cannot unsee.

So, in case anyone was wondering, running sucks. The sun sucks. It hurt, and it was too hot outside. I hate it. No part of it was fun. But none of that matters, does it? Because today I ran. And I’m going to do it again.

3 thoughts on “Running is Stupid and It’s Hot Outside.

  1. I am soooooooooooooo impressed! You make me want to walk—- around my house— at any rate. Keep it up– you can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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