I’ve been sick. That sort of scratchy throat, sneezy, sleepy cold garbage that makes you want to find a cup of soup and a snuggie and take up permanent residence on the couch. Let’s, for a moment, ignore how sad it is to be sick on my birthday (insert chorus of ‘awwww’ here, please), but I’ve got The Mayor’s Challenge going on here! I can’t be sick!
I used a very special 4 point plan to attack this boogery invader and triumph over my malady:
- Begin regimen of airborne, zinc, and soup. Sternly inform the virus, “Cold, ain’t nobody got time for this!” This is your new mantra, repeat whenever noticing a symptom.
- Frantically Google “cold remedies.” Try them all within a 5 hour period. Burp, discover the new and intriguing flavor of raw garlic clove-ginger and cayenne tea-apple cider vinegar-mentholated cough drop.
- Go on out of town casino trip with Mom. Surely the slot machine noise and loss of income is a solid distraction from the virus that is slowly destroying your will to wear pants and be out of doors. Use copious amounts of hand sanitizer–you’ll feel like a jerk if you get anyone’s sweet old granny sick. (This step is probably optional, but was part of my birthday weekend plans).
- Get home. Succumb. Wallow. Spend the next 24 hours hiding in bed, alternating between feeling guilt over not meeting your gym commitments, and taking incredibly restful naps with a kitten.
I should probably mention I’m still sick. Your mileage may vary.
I can tell you what did make me feel pretty great, in the end. I showed up to work out, still feeling sick, but determined to do my best and not skip another day. Deciding to weigh myself at the gym was a pretty big gamble, but finding out I am down 4 lbs made me forget about my cold for at least five whole seconds. And it didn’t leave any weird aftertaste.