Vampire Cupcake’s Guide to Zumba

I love to dance. Sometimes, I pretend like I don’t. I think anyone who feels a certain way about their body can relate. I too often find myself thinking, “oh, no one wants to see that” and staying off the floor.

I was blessed to finally discover Zumba for myself. It’s perfect for me. Primarily because everyone else in class is so busy flailing about, there is no chance they have time to look at my jiggle. Oh, and there is so much jiggle.

Look how excited I am. It's that much fun.

Look how excited I am. It’s that much fun.

An important guideline for Zumba is: Embrace the Jiggle. Also, bring a towel. Unless you are on excellent terms with those dancing near you. I don’t know how angry the average person will get when your sweat flies from your bosom and hits them on the mouth or something. I don’t want to find out. Hence, towel.

Zumba Mike (not my nickname, this is what he calls himself. In my head, he is Zumba Ken and co-teaches with Zumba Barbie, henceforth known by her given name of Vicki) will tell you the “Number 1” rule of Zumba is “No Rules.” Encouraging, right?.

MY most important rule for starting Zumba is to never, ever, ever, ever catch your reflection. I have become adept at strategizing the optimal spot on the floor with which to see an instructor while never seeing myself. This is key, as now you are free to focus on the instructor. This is necessary to create an elaborate delusion that because you are doing EXACTLY what they are doing, that you must look JUST LIKE them.

I am SO freaking sexy when I Zumba.

I cannot stress my rule #1 enough.

Mr. Cupcake and I all set to get funky at the holiday Zumbathon.

Mr. Cupcake and I all set to get funky at the holiday Zumbathon. (He reached a new level of funky that day, and impressed me with his sweet moves.) 

L-R: Mr. Cupcakes, Zumba Barbie (erm, Vicki), Me, Zumba Ken (aka Mike @
L-R: Mr. Cupcakes, Zumba Barbie (erm, Vicki), Me, Zumba Ken (aka Mike @

Another important rule is as follows: No matter how much you feel like you should—be sure to never approach your instructor(s) to apologize for the vast amount of time you spend intently staring at their general pelvic region while attempting your flailing mimicry. There WILL come a day when the sentence, “Gosh, I’m sorry I spend 2 hours a week mostly staring at your ass.” wants to fly from your face, I assure you. (I blame the post workout brain melt.)  I believe this is a bad idea. I have not come up with this guideline due to experience, however, I am now blogging about it, so…. Next class should be nice and awkward for all of us. Sorry, Vicki.

So, after the staring at the teacher (but not apologizing like a weirdo about it), embracing the jiggle, and wiping yourself down at regular interval rules, go ahead and do that “no rules” thing. Because really, getting to leave everything behind for an hour every week, and just let go and shake it with wild abandon, knowing that you’re surrounded by people who think you’re awesome just for showing up? Well, you just can’t beat that. (The 600+calorie burn per hour according to my HRM is just a bonus).




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